17 years old, I've been stuttering for as long as I can remember. just need to let some things out

17 years old, I've been stuttering for as long as I can remember. just need to let some things out I've been stuttering for so long, and have been trying for a while now to stop. I'm so embarrassed about my stutter, I have never talked about it to anybody in my whole life. Nobody, not even my parents or siblings. This is my last year of high school and in the past few months this has really started to get to me. I've realized I've had so many opportunities in my life missed because of my stutter. Social opportunities, making friends, asking girls out. I've been quiet and kept to myself because I was always embarrassed by it and fear of being ridiculed. Every time I stutter, I feel like shit and my self confidence for the day disappears. I've been such a nervous wreck that sometimes I even stutter giving voice commands to my phone. Not only that, I feel that the rest of my life will be affected by the way I talk. I can't even go to a coffee shop and order a cup of coffee without stuttering. So I avoid it. I've been wanting to get a job recently, but I'm afraid to because I know I'm going to mess up when asking for a job application, not to mention the job interview. I noticed that the more I think about stuttering, the more often I stutter. It feels like a never ending cycle. I have been a nervous wreck because of this the past few months. How can I not think about stuttering when it's pretty much how I trained myself to speak my whole life? I feel trapped. I wish I could talk normally, and not have people laugh or feel awkward because of my speech. I don't want to speak this way. If I had the ability to, I would never stutter again. I wish more people could understand.