It is indeed the incosistency nature of stuttering that make it impossible to accept it. I can understand some of the irregularities like when being emotional distress we may stutter more. Just like Tourrete Syndrom. The tics do have variation depending on the situation and how we feel. But stuttering is even more weird. I can be fluent talking to myself on my house but suddenly I hear the door opens and the stuttering kicks in. It seems that the other person is clearly a trigger. I can be talking to A person fluent but B person stuttering. I can whisper with no problem but speaking at loud stuttering. There are many more examples... The variation is HUGE. This tell me something that I have never been able to rule out. That stuttering is not in the same neurological category as Tourrete Syndrom or Bypolar Disorder. I mean, for sure it has some neurological basis. Like everything else. But there´s an emotional - physicological - cognitive component to it that is tremendous. You said it yourself: when we want it the most, the less fluent we are. ¿Is not that physicological? I agree that putting yourself out there can make the acceptance worse. Maybe not for everyone but for some. The best we (or I) can do is temporally accept it. I believe that stuttering can be treat on a way that diminish over time. But I also believe that right on this second there is nothing I can do to prevent me from stuttering. The therapy will take time and work. And over some long period I will be 5% less stutter. And then I can keep on working and improving. I also believe that I will never stop being a stutterer. This shit is so deep impregnated. But I can be 80% more fluent. And for me is enough. Maybe that is the key. Temporally true acceptance. To stop the constant worring, the blaming, the shame. Stop looking for an immediately solution because there isn´t. Accept the fact that for this month my stutter will be the same. But with continue and correct line of work I can improve.