It's not victim-blaming though, theyre right.Boundaries are not requests. They are statements about what you will not tolerate. Youre currently tolerating your mom treating you like shit. Boundaries are not for other people to follow, they're for YOU to enforce. It's true that what you allow will continue. So you need to tell your mom, probably through text, that if she makes comments or jokes about your stutter, that you will leave immediately - and actually follow through, because you know she will test this. If she doesn't give you a sincere apology, you won't speak to her or visit her until she does. If she does it again, clearly the need to give a sincere apology wasnt consequence enough, so let her know you won't be talking to or visiting with her for 2 weeks. Keep extending this by 2 weeks/a month every time. If you do any favours for her, stop. She doesn't get to blatantly disrespect you and still recieve your generosity. And I certainly hope you're not reliant on her for anything. If you are, immediately look into what you can do to find that thing elsewhere. Don't visit your granddad if she'll be present. If you do go visit and she's there, leave immediately without a word. She'll push back about her just trying to make you aware, shes just joking, youre so sensitive, whatever. Don't argue, just stick to your boundary. Use the broken-record technique. Keep repeating "if you do it again, I'm leaving." You'll also get pushback from other family members/friends. They'll say things like youre being dramatic, that's just how your mom is, youre breaking her heart, ect.. Don't get into it with them either. Just say this is an issue between you and your mom, you're not talking to anyone else about it. Again, broken-record, "This is between me and mom." Thus far, the only consequence your mom has had for making fun of your disability is you being upset. That clearly doesn't bother or deter her at all, so maybe losing access to you and whatever you do for her, ir the shame of others asking "hows your kid doing?" and knowing she hasnt spoken to you in a month, might change her tune. It also might not. She might never stop this behaviour, so you have to decide what you'll do. I understand if you don't want to cut her off completely over this, but you'd be completely valid to do so, too. I doubt she's great in every other aspect than this - of she's making fun of her child's disability, especially knowing how hurtful it is, I habe a suspicion she's pretty terrible in other aspects, too. You don't habe to habe a relationship with her. At family functions, if you don't want to cut her off completely, you can just be cordial and polite, but give her nothing more. Don't tell her about your life, be vulnerable, nothing. Just pleasantries. And continue to stick to getting up and leaving if she makes fun of you. I have a difficult family situation, too. I know how hard it is to set boundaries with people who freak out and get angry. It's a lifetime of these patterns and formalities being disrupted by you, and it is really hard. But it can be done and it is worth it. You don't habe to let someone treat you like shit just because they'll freak out if you stop letting them. You matter, too. Your comfort matters, too. Your well-being matters, too.