commentr/StutterJuly 14, 2016

Content

it's not a super anology, but this is what John Harrison's take: >Why Are Speech Blocks So Unpredictable? For years, I used to bite through pencils in frustration, trying to come up with some logical explanation for the seemingly capricious nature of speech blocks. — Why do I have good days and bad days? — Why do I sometimes block on words I usually can say without effort? — Why does the feeling that I’m going to block seem to come out of the blue and for no apparent reason? — Why can I go along for three minutes without a block, and then suddenly have everything fall apart? I used to think I’d be better off if I stuttered on every word, rather than only in special situations. At least then, my life would be more predictable. Non-stutterers have no idea of the uncertainties that are created when something as basic as your speech stops and starts and lurches like a car with carburetor problems. It casts an uncertain shadow on every aspect of your life. I once tried to explain this mindset to a non-stuttering friend. Imagine, I said to him, that you’re walking merrily along the street after an uneventful shopping trip to Macy’s when all of a sudden this gloved hand comes out of nowhere and — WHUMP! — it bops you on the nose. Not hard. Not so it draws blood. But sudden enough to startle you. “Hmph!” you say. “Now where did that come from?” A bit ruffled, you continue on down the street. You walk into the bank to make a deposit. Just when you step up to teller window and open your mouth to speak, a gloved hand comes out of nowhere and — WHUMP! — it bops you on the nose. Not hard, but hard enough to disconcert you. You make your deposit and leave the bank. Walking by a newsstand, you feel a bit rattled and decide to buy a magazine to take your mind off of your anxieties. You fish around for the right change, hand it to the man behind the counter, open your mouth to ask for the magazine...and suddenly this gloved hand comes out of nowhere and — WHUMP! — it bops you on the nose. How is the world feeling right now? Unpredictable. It’s lunchtime, so you walk into a local eatery. As you walk through the door, you notice you’re doing something you didn’t do before. You’re scanning the room ahead of you, looking for that damned gloved hand. Your schnozz is tired of getting bopped. Except nothing happens. Reas- sured, you find an empty table, sit down, and open up the menu. Ah, the roast beef sandwich looks great. The waiter comes over to take your order. “What would you like,” he says. “The roast beef on whole wheat,” you answer. “Anything on the side?” “Yeah, an order of fries.” “And to drink?” “A Miller Lite.” “What was that again” “A....” You go to repeat Miller Lite, but you never make it, because suddenly a gloved hand comes out of nowhere and — WHUMP! — it bops you on the nose. Oh stop it!!! Why is this happening? None of it makes any sense. Why could you buy a shirt in Macy’s without incident, and then walk into the restaurant and get bopped. This constant surprise is driving you crazy. My friend said he now understood why I found the world so unpredict- able. Maybe you can think of it like having a cord around you tethered to something. Sometimes the cord is long and gives no resistance, other times it is stretched and you have to try to pull through it to get to where you want to go, other times it's just a iron chain and you can't move it all. Keep in mind this cord can switch back and forth in form seemingly at random. Now while it's true that a lot of the time we can sort of feel is the cord is about to change, but we don't always know into what form or how far it's going to stretch, if at all. Except this cord isnt for moving, it's for talking and communicating.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCauses & VariabilitySpeech & Stuttering

Subthemes

Anticipating StutteringCycles & RandomnessBlocks & Stoppages