I've experienced the same phenomenon of coping mechanisms *becoming* part of the stutter and I've been slowly finding my way out of it. When you incorporate techniques like filler words and counting, you're giving yourself more ways not to speak. Try eliminating those possibilities, and try to speak without tensing up. It's okay to stutter and it's okay to take your time; but don't think about stuttering or dancing around with coping mechanisms. Just think about what you want to say, like a fluent person, and don't feel bad if you stutter along the way. Unrelatedly what's weed like? I've heard it results in a sense of accomplishment - which I usually chase anyway in tons of difficult hobbies, so I figure I'd rather have something fulfilling to attach that feeling to. Do you think it demotivates you from trying to change your speaking habits? Or does it literally make your speech worse?