First of all thank you for all of this information. It is mostly spot on. I don't think I have an anxiety disorder either, although I was almost starting to convince myself I did. As far as the weed goes, I've smoked a fair amount, had plenty of experiments. I know for a fact it makes it worse, not terribly worse though. Indicas (downer weed) makes my speech quite a bit worse and Sativa's (upper weed) actually help for the first 15 minutes or so but then it starts to hinder a little after that. The Valiums are only 10 mg. Im not getting so messed up I don't remember if I was taking straight.... I had 10 or so left and I took one before going to the dentist. Driving home I realized I was telling stories (which are usually terrible for me) and talking fluent to the assistants. Ive had a couple experiments since then and I was consciously paying attention to my speech. Its like magic. I plan to experiment a couple more times in more pressing situations. If it works then I know its a problem in my head that can be fixed by getting in the habit of being in the right state of mind. I haven't given meditation an honest consistent enough effort to answer your questions. I will go on a 30 day, twice a day regimen, soon and keep you posted.