21/m here stutterer for 12 years. I never really went to a speech therapist, just that one time when I was 13/14. My parents where concerned that sometimes I had blocks and stumbled upon my words. Back then, it was really seldom and the speech therapist didn't catch me stutter once. So she just encouraged me to calm down, take deep breaths before speaking and said that I must not force the words, I simply have to speak slowly in order to let the words come out automatically. The stutter got worse and I knew I had to do something. So I decided to change my attitude towards my stutter. I've read here and elsewhere that it is important to stop caring about what others think about you. The biggest challenge is in your head, barriers you built up over the years that prevent you from speaking normally. Self-acceptance is huge deal and one of the most important things you have to learn. People in this thread have explained it as well, and many others in different threads wrote about it. Give it a read: [1](http://www.reddit.com/r/Stutter/comments/1zvwzn/another_step_to_coming_to_terms_with_my_stutter/) [2](http://www.reddit.com/r/IWantToLearn/comments/1mq7m2/iwtl_how_to_stop_stuttering_and_improve_my_speech/) I would also recommend reading [this article](http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/Harrison/john.htm) where the author gives great tips. He explains perfectly how your attitude towards people and speaking in general changes everything. If you just accept the way you are and learn to deal with social situations, the barriers in your head start to dissolve and you are able to speak freely. One of the take home messages is something like, if you allow yourself to show flaws, you learn to speak naturally. My favourite lines are: >I told Frank to ham it up and be as silly and outrageous as he liked. And he did. He was totally silly. Instead of speaking in his usual flat voice, he was really passionate. And Frank was totally fluent. At the end of the meeting, I asked Frank how he managed to let go so much. You know what he said to me? He said, “You gave me permission.” A few words regarding your suicide thoughts. >Lately i'm thinkin' this alot i have been pretty self hater about this, even i thought suicade at first place. Never give up, I mean yeah you stutter and I know it really sucks, but you know what? You're just playing life on hard mode. You know what's really worth living? Being happy and to enjoy things no matter how hard ife is. [Being pessimistic](http://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/1gdxry/depression_feels_more_real_optimism_feels_like_a/cajbziq) is like poison for your soul. If you never try to cope with your situation, you'll never learn anything. Or in the words of Buddha: “There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: not going all the way, and not starting.”