I feel you, I’m also almost always on the outside looking in. So hard to break into conversations when people are talking fast and take no regard to your stutter. Also people often choose to speak with someone who doesn’t stutter if they have the option, because while its uncomfortable to stutter people are also uncomfortable speaking to stutterers, so why be uncomfortable when you can turn away and speak with almost anyone else. It really is physically exhausting too, feeling the blocks creeping up in your mouth and throat and trying to avoid them even if you shouldn’t. For me it’s obviously the worst meeting new people, such as starting at a new university or joining some club or being an event. Then it’s quite periodic and disappears during some periods, then returns really hard in others. I know that it’s best to accept your stutter, but how can I ever grow to fully accept people laughing, making shocked faces and not being able to make friends in new situations, or accidentaly insulting someone because some sentence didn’t come our right, or not being able to defend myself against some rude person.