It's not your fault if the people you tried to interact woth are assholes and i would never be able to step out of my comfort zone like you did and i could never be so dedicated to improve my speech like you did. I think it's not your problem if you're sad, i think you just gotta find the right people to be with. There are many assholes out there who'll only mock and put you down, but there are also good people who'll listen and understand you. I know life can be harsh, but if it's not your fault and you tried everything to live a good life then you shouldn't be ashamed of be yourself. Make new, true friendships and you'll be happier