How accessible is psychotherapy in your area? Speech therapy apparently hasn't helped but you're clearly suffering and it seems you need help dealing with mental health. This is just a starting point, of course, but may lead to figuring out some psychological aspects of your stutter. On a more practical note about feeling unfulfilled, do you have or can you engage with any creative projects as a way to make something you can be proud of and express yourself? Music, art, writing, dance, woodwork. Anything?