Hey, it's really no problem at all. My stutter was also really bad to the point where I couldn't say my own name either. I remember very clearly the burning embarrassment and the feeling that I wanted to just die right at that instant. If it wasn't for my good friends making for a healthy support system, I don't know what I would've done. I can tell you that when I was your age, I thought it was impossible to get over my anxiety that triggered my stammer, and it was impossible for a bit because I was so utterly convinced that I was helpless. And yeah, I was a covert stutterer too. Nobody likes to openly talk about their biggest flaw. That being said: I really, really strongly recommend that you open up to a trusted friend. A family member is cool, but there's nothing quite like your trusted peer group who honestly will not care. It will be scary at first, but the feeling of finally being able to be comfortable talking in front of your friends about it will take SO much of that fucking stress off your back. And you start to gain these little victories where you're comfortable, and yeah you will still stutter but you will get better and over time, those little victories will add up and turn into your own innate sense of confidence. It really doesn't put you at any risk to open up to your trusted circle of friends. They already know you stutter, so you may as well just address it and talk about it. You will feel better. That's what real friends are for. For future instances where you have to read out loud, you gotta practice in front of them. My friends were instrumental in helping me get over stage fright and anxiety. Another thing you may want to investigate is perhaps getting on some non-habit forming anti-anxiety drugs because it seems to me, from your writing, that you are legitimately anxious, more so than an average stutterer and if left unchecked, your anxiety will keep making you miserable and level up into full-blown depression. I would recommend SSRI medication, but again, consult your doctor about this. If you do decide to get on anti-anxiety meds, stay away from benzos. Yeah, they work but you do not want to be in a situation where you have to get off them. The withdrawal is 1000x worse than what you are feeling now. So yeah, just try going to speech therapy, open up to friends, practice in front of them and just try to build and nurture close and interpersonal relationships for positivity, and try out those guided meditation videos or take a yoga class. Yoga is cool because you don't have to introduce yourself or talk, you just sit down and basically are quiet for the whole time. I didn't pick up yoga for exercise, I picked it up because my mind was going stir crazy. If you can just muscle through this awkward phase of your life, I can promise you that things get exponentially better. You will just get less nervous, but you have to sow the seeds of fluency right now by opening up, talking to friends, confronting your stutter head on and your confidence will germinate and you'll be okay. You have to put in the work now to reap the rewards later. Try to be proactive and consider this subreddit and myself as a safe place in which to vent! Take care dude!