commentr/StutterFebruary 13, 2020

Content

I was bullied — both for my stutter and other reasons — from 5th grade up until 9th. Unfortunately I don’t have any solid answers, but based on my experience there’s a couple routes to take. The first one is to go to the principal. No matter how much of a douche your principal is, they’re usually pretty accessible if a student requests a meeting with them. If the teacher said they’d report something and didn’t, they need to be held accountable. If it’s the principal who’s stymying it, then you can reach out to the super intendant. If you’re in the USA, there’s language to protect some stutterers in the ADA, and the district will want to be *very* careful about protecting anyone with a perceived disability. The problem is that the steps the principal / district will take might not make the problem go away. When I went though HS in the early ‘00s, my school was so feckless that their response was to make me and my bullies go to student mediators, which worked exactly as well as you’d expect. In the short term it made the bullying worse, but YMMV. I was dealing with a special group of shitheads. For me it was two things that stopped the bullying. Fighting them, and joining a sport. By eighth grade I had been doing a year or two of martial arts (Japanese Jiu Jitsu and a little bit of Tae Kwon Do), and my bullying had gotten so bad that I was being physically assaulted every day. I had gone through teachers, the school district, everything. Nothing helped. So on the last day of school when my main bully of three years punched me, I punched him back. We scuffled a little and I ended up putting him in a really poorly-executed arm lock and dropping him on his face. We both got sent to the principals office and he was sent home. The next time he saw me (beginning of the next year) he was all smiles and “Hey man, how’s it going? Did you have a good summer?” I’m not advocating violence or saying it’s the right track, but once you’re a less easy / fun target — either by standing up to them or not caring — it might trickle off. So by the time high school started I was free of my main bully, but there was others. The biggest thing that helped me with them was joining a sport. It wasn’t a “cool” sport or anything, but as soon as I had acceptance from another group of guys, my bullies didn’t care about me so much. It’s easy to bully the kid everyone dislikes, but if you bully someone’s friend, you just look like an asshole. It doesn’t have to be a sport — I’d wager any activity will do the trick — but there’s something very beneficial for the bullied about having a group of acquaintances who just see you as a team mate who stutters, not as a stuttering kid. I hope some of that helps. If you have any questions I’m more than open to try to share my experience.

Themes

Identity & DisabilityEmotional ExperienceSocial & Relationships

Subthemes

Stigma & BullyingShame & EmbarrassmentSadness & HopelessnessLoneliness & Isolation