DOES THIS HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN STUTTERING? PLEASE, IF THIS HAPPENS TO ANYONE AND THEY TAKE ANY MEDICATION, LET ME KNOW

DOES THIS HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN STUTTERING? PLEASE, IF THIS HAPPENS TO ANYONE AND THEY TAKE ANY MEDICATION, LET ME KNOW I dont speak english native. I have visited this forum many times and I see that there are different cases of stuttering, I am going to tell you what is happening to me. I have stuttered since childhood, since I was 5 years old, I went to speech therapy but it did not work. I have always spoken fluently when I talk to myself, when I do a speaker's accent. It must be said that I have been brave because I have given presentations, fortunately they have been excellent most of the time, they even wanted me as a poetry speaker to represent the university, and that even though nobody knew I stuttered, nobody would believe it and even I am surprised, but the times I gave presentations the same thing happened, simply by taking away a little of the air I would later gradually regain air, so I am intrigued to know what chemical process is involved in that. 1. Since childhood until today, when I try to speak well without forcing it, I have involuntary movements due to the same desire to be able to speak without forcing anything, I move my head and everything and I open my eyes exaggeratedly, I simply cannot get the word to come out fluently, so I force it and start to lengthen it, for example to say mom, I say mmmmmmommm, my problem is not stuttering from repetitions, my problem is that if I try to speak fluently it is simply not possible, because I pause since the word does not come out fluently but from the beginning of the word there is no fluency, the block is not that I cannot emit sounds, if I can emit them what happens is that I would not say the complete and fluent word, but I would lengthen the word and I would have to speak very very slowly. Clarifying that point I get stuck with blocks and not with repetitions, could there be some neurological reason for that? 2. I have to say that another thing that I KNOW for sure is affecting me is that when I don't go out, when I isolate myself, it's like I lose that inertia or that snowball of being socially active, using my speech in social environments. I know that being isolated has affected me, because when I'm active I definitely speak more fluently, and I'm aware of it. It happens that I have economic problems and I have to measure myself even if I don't want to. I work to get out of that and achieve being socially active as I want to be. 3. I have to say that I have had times in my life where I can speak well, and I even felt like I had overcome it. Although I have to say that with my family I had more difficulty than with people outside, because my family already knew me, and reaching the goal of wanting to speak fluently would mean a change of identity from them to me, which may be what generates rejection in my mind. But right now it's serious because I feel like I couldn't say something without getting stuck, I can talk without getting stuck sometimes doing the following, let's go to point 4 4. I've noticed something and I don't know if it happens to anyone, here in these forums I see people talking about how you have to breathe, how you have to do the other thing and so on, the thing is that even if I breathe well and I don't have anxiety with other people I still stutter, or if I don't stutter the conversations seem very slow, but I've noticed that when I take the air out and try to talk to myself for about 5 minutes like that without having much air, I notice that I flow but at the cost of leaving me physically tired, but the doubt in this paragraph is, why when I try to take the air out I feel like I take a weight off my throat and the word can flow from the beginning with almost no blocks, now, this worked great for me when I first discovered it but then it lost its effectiveness, but what calls my attention is that when I take the air out it's like Something happens that makes the word come out and I speak at a fluid rhythm. It is important to note that before the word comes out I need to talk a little to "break the ice" in my mouth so that it gets warm. The difference is that by doing that of taking my breath away I start to speak more fluently, but if I start to speak as one is supposed to speak, which is breathing, articulating, and all that, when I do that my speech does not flow, even if I am calm. It is simply that the word does not flow to speak at a single rhythm. But when I take my breath away it is like something happens that I can speak at the rhythm of fluency that I want but not always as I told you in this paragraph 2. Having said this, let's go to point 3. 5. I know that there is a psychological factor because I notice that I stutter a lot with my family. My brain simply thinks: "If your whole family saw you stuttering and making movements with your eyes to speak, why are you going to try to speak fluently with them if they already knew you like that?" That is for sure, just like with an uncle, that he knew about my stuttering, it's just like I shrink with them, so it's something psychological in part, but if we look at it objectively the psychological has to do with brain chemistry which leads to point 4, the drugs 6. I suppose that this case is specific, but I would like to know if anyone has experienced all that I said before, and if so, have you used a drug that worked for you and that doesn't have significant side effects? I ask because I see that there are different cases of stuttering so I would like to know if anyone has the same case as me and if any drug worked for them, because if it is also psychological it ALSO has to do with drugs, because the psychological is managed by the chemical balance that we have in the brain, so the drugs are a fundamental part for a total cure