I see. I was there, maybe a week ago? By “there” I mean I too was in such a shitty, worthless feeling mental state. And then I rekindled my meditation routine and within days have a healthy sense of self and I’m more fluent. My friend, if you haven’t already, check out my post about mindfulness meditation I made a few days ago. Gaining control over thoughts seems to me the only thing that helps my stutter, I’m sure it would help you too.