What you're saying makes complete sense, and your self-awareness is impressive. When stakes feel low (strangers, casual friends), the 'not caring' strategy works because your nervous system is calm. But with someone you love, your brain flags her as *important to keep* so it goes into threat-detection mode, ironically triggering the very thing you fear. Try changing how you think about it: You're not trying to *not stutter* with her. You're practicing *stuttering without shame* in her presence. She already chose you, stutter and all. The fear isn't about her reaction, it's your own anticipation of embarrassment. Also, try separating the two fears: Are you afraid of *stuttering*, or afraid of *her seeing you vulnerable*? If it's the latter, that's intimacy work, not fluency work. Vulnerability is the scary part of close relationships but she's already shown her trust by staying with you. She's already accepted your stutter. The remaining work is accepting your stutter *yourself* in her presence. That's a gentler, more achievable target than 'breaking free.'