First let me say I’m sorry you are hurting so much. Please have hope because stuttering, while not necessarily “curable,” can subside an amazing amount and be much less disruptive. I’m a speech therapist and when I was in college my instructor, a stutterer, described a phone call he received in which there was silence for almost 5 minutes. It was a severe block by someone who wanted speech therapy. After therapy his improvement was dramatic. All that is just to say there is hope. I have a few suggestions: The Stuttering Foundation is a non profit started by a stutterer. It has very solid information and it truly is about helping people who stutter rather than making money. There are great resources there. As far as speech therapy there are stuttering specialists. I would suggest finding one and asking for a referral from someone they’ve worked with. Oftentimes stuttering specialists are stutterers themselves—so they know how it feels, and they know what helps. With the internet speech therapy online might be the way to go if you can’t find a specialist nearby. You might also try SLP Stephen who also stutters and has a home program. Any of the therapists who stutter have found success and their stuttering is mild or fleeting. Be kind to yourself. You are not a failure, just someone finding their way.