Hey. Just joined the wonderful world of Reddit and was so ecstatic to find this sub. My story. I'm 29 years old, and I've been a covert stutterer ever since I can remember. When I first realised I had an actual issue, was when a teacher of mine asked me to read aloud in class. The book was Pride and Prejudice. The word was "really". Such a fucking simple word in the world of the fluent. When the word came up, I felt like a deer frozen in the headlights. It was right there... I could read it in my mind... but the word just wouldn't come out. I eventually skipped the word, to the amusement of my classmates, but more "r's" came up and there was no hiding my struggle. Assholes being assholes, I was then known as the kid who couldn't read. My teacher, family and friends never understood when I tried to explain, and they put it solely down to social anxiety. Being a kid, I believed them of course. I had friends, but always felt lonely as I couldn't express myself the way I wanted to. I found ways to avoid words I blocked on by finding substitute words, using tricks(Uhm, What was I saying?, Aaah...) or waiting for someone to complete my sentence. It was especially terrible when speaking to the ladies. Thus, I avoided the opposite sex whenever I could. That's until university came around, and I learned of the magic of the Alcohol. I found if I had a few dozen beers I could be as fluent as a humming bird. I would tell stories, make jokes and best of all entice the ladies. This was all temporary though, as the next day I would be hungover as shit, and blocking on so many words I would just smile and nod until I could get out of speaking. The beers eventually became a problem, and I decided I needed to stop if I ever wanted to graduate. I actually lost a few friends because they loved "Drunk Me", and could never understand "Sober Me" in comparison. I felt really sorry for myself, and put my fist up to the Gods for laying this curse on me, and me alone. When I started working, I did really well due to hardly any speaking being needed from my side. Then, one day my boss asked me to conduct interviews and I couldn't find a way out. She sat in on a few, and thus the anxiety built to a breaking point. I blocked like a goalie in the form of his life. She actually noticed that there was a legitimate issue, and suggested I should check on the internet for help. I will forever love her for this. I googled "Words are in my head but won't come out when trying to speak please help" (terrible, I know), and the term 'covert stutterer' came up and a link to the McGuire course for Stutterers. I won't go into detail about the course and how it helped me, but it blew my mind that there were others just like me out there... hiding in the world of the fluent. Fast forward to today, and while I still struggle all the time, I've learnt it's my responsibilty to do what's needed in order to live the life I want to. You have to express yourself every single day, and avoiding words and situations is not the way to do it. It is an every day battle with my stuttering ego, but it has been a war worth fighting. This subreddit will surely help. It's especially difficult for a covert stutterer to get any empathy, as the struggle is not seen and thus never understood. It is a part of who I am though. And I think I'm okay with that now. Oh, and I still drink beer. But only for the deliciousness.