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My first and last post here New university making new friends, long phone calls to friends from home, trying and succeeding in picking up girls, leading and directing people, even getting known for my charisma. You'd hardly think I stuttered reading that! My life, on the whole got better once I started to stutter. Yep you read that right. No I am not drunk. Before I started to stutter I was a fairly quite guy, quite at home, quite at school. Then I started to stutter and realised just how important speaking is and that I HAD to do it EVERYDAY! This scared me at first and I'll admit I was severely depressed for one year, on top of this I was coming to grips with my grief for my dad's death. Spent most of it laying in bed, hardly talking only grunting. It was the worst year of my life Wallowing in my self despair, it became evident to me that despite my pain the world moves on. Either I move on with it or get left behind. It was a tough journey but my faith really helped me (I'm not here to convert anyone, I don't care what you believe in haha) Slowly learning stuttering techniques it became manageable, my motto in life is 'Either you jump or you get pushed', I refused to bow to my stutter and get pushed into awkward situations, so I took initiative by starting conversations with people, trying to be charming and funny. It worked really well, I never wanted to become that guy known for his stutter. Simply this led me to doing things which you wouldn't expect a stutterer to do. Presenting work, answering/asking qs in class, generally be very vocal This continued through school (4 yrs), only realising how well it was going when a teacher commented on my eloquency and a friend commenting on how popular I had become in school. Those are two compliments I shall never forget for as long as I live, that I could go from being a painfully depressed stutter to popular and eloquent. Its worth noting that I still stuttered (uhming and ahing) but only I noticed it. Naturally after school came university, that weight of worry having to go through all that acceptance really fell hard on me. Continuing my approach and so far its worked. 2 terms later and things couldn't be better. My approach is based on: Realising when you have to talk. This seems obvious but its very crucial, for instance I always try to make my own phone calls about appointments or household maintainance - it is nervewrecking but you HAVE to do this, friends or family won't always be there to talk for you. But if I'm with a group of friends I might initiate a conversational topic, then ease out of the convo throwing in the odd comment here or there, meaning that I won't have to talk much, but I don't feel left out because I'm talking and I chose the talking point Learn about psychology. This has been very good so far, its all about showing how kind you are. This is easily done through being in engaging (this is why I introduce myself to people), ask questions about what they do (people LOVE talking about themselves,especially quite people) and the most difficult one of all is knowing when to add in your own long dialogue (eg. throwing in a story about work or sports), this is important because it displays your investment int the conversation. The biggest tip my Dad taught me is to make jokes, 99% of what I say is wrapped in jokes and friendly sarcasm, people love to laugh, do this and they'll remember you, meaning that despite being a stutter I've formed friendship groups. Only with those I get on really well with, do I confide in with secrets or even serious matters. Changing my thoughts whilst speaking eg. I might want to say "The dog" but if I stutter on "dog" I'll throw in another word so it becomes "The small dog" Being adaptable eg. If I'm at the supermarket and I need "Apples" ain't no way in hell I'm saying that, so instead I write it on my phone, ask staff for help and using my phone say "Do you know where I could find this?" A clear mind. This one is difficult, it relies on surprising myself by talking in a way eg. When I'm walking up to a receptionist to ask about something, I try to minimise my stuttering by thinking about something else whilst walking up to her, next thing I know I'm at the desk stating my name and why I'm here. It throws you off so you don't even have a chance to think about your stutter. Realising when you have to talk. This seems obvious but its very crucial, for instance I always try to make my own phone calls about appointments or household maintainance - it is nervewrecking but you HAVE to do this, friends or family won't always be there to talk for you. But if I'm with a group of friends I might initiate a conversational topic, then ease out of the convo throwing in the odd comment here or there, meaning that I won't have to talk much, but I don't feel left out because I'm talking and I chose the talking point. The most difficult approach. Throw yourself into situations where you have to talk eg. Talk to strangers, introduce yourself to others at parties, have extended periods of dialogue (works well while changing your thoughts whilst talking). You wonder why but this is why I do it : It makes me own my talking situations (remember jump, never be pushed), it allows me to talk (which I like doing now) and I suppose it protects me, nobody is going to think an openly vocal person stutters, meaning that I'm not that weird silent guy who people question, forcing me to talk and probably stutter thus humiliating myself. For actual techniques, this depends on your stutter. Mine causes my mouth to feel tight, so I can't get my words out. Four big things help me: 1. Reading out loud every night, fully pronouncing every letter,vowel,syllable etc. basically over articulation. It's also helpful becuase now my accent is very clear. During bad periods of stuttering, I tie a belt around my head so its tight (mimicking what happens when I stutter) then read out loud from here, its annoying, but that helps alot too 2. Drop your voice a tone whilst reading, whenever I talk in accents I never stutter, so by using a deeper tone I've changed my voice drastically reducing incidences of stuttering 3. Phone a confidential number eg. Nightline then tell the person on the other end you stutter and how that makes you feel. This had drastic effects for me, I stopped stuttering completely for TWO days.This is a stutter's nightmare, talking to a stranger, on the phone, admitting you stutter and explaining your emotions. Their paid to be on the other side and its anonymous so stutter through it if can't help it, but just do it. 4. As a general note, keep a log of your life- not a diary- In this write out your pros and cons from every week. You'd be surprised how many things went well over the past week, no matter how small. Its encouraging and during bad times you can read over it to make yourself feel better. That's it. That's all I did to get this far. Only writing this out makes me realise how far I've come and why I truly think my life improved once I started to stutter. Never let your stutter hold you back, it was encouraging to read of others that have taken on jobs that require lots of talking - Army General, Pilot, Teacher, Lecturer, Salesperson, everyday, always getting through it. My favourite poem on life (The Desiderata) ends on this: "With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." We're going to have bad days, those days where we want the world to swallow us up but we'd relive the bad ones just to experience the good days again...