We all at one point in our lives felt the same way you do now. There was a time that I thought that I would stutter for the rest of my life. I was lucky in the sense that I am a speech pathologist so I had knowledge that the lay person would not have privy to. I eventually learned the answer to fluency. There are answers out there so hopefully you will not give up. Checkout a book by William Parry who discusses the relationship between the Valsalva response to stuttering. This was the book that gave me the answers that allowed me to become fluent I wish you the very best