Crying right now

Crying right now Being around people makes me feel alienated. I’m never included in anything and I’m always ignored. I feel like a failure because of my stutter. I feel like if I didn’t have a stutter I’d be having a stable job right now. I don’t like the fact that I’m holding myself back. I want to go back to college but I’m scared. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I just feel so exhausted. Why can’t I just speak freely without being judged or someone questioning what’s wrong with me. Thinking about the future only makes me feel depressed. Might aswell just go mute.