What to do with suicidal thoughts

What to do with suicidal thoughts It’s just so hard trying to speak and taking 30 seconds to speak 1 single fucking sentence at times, and even when I’m with my family who understands, it’s so embarrassing. I sometimes think of just killing myself, because what’s the point of being alive when I can’t even fucking express myself properly and I sound like such an idiot. How am I supposed to make friends, or find a job, or do anything. I’d honestly rather become mute, at least I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself. I just don’t know what to do and my stutter keeps getting worse and worse even with my family being so supportive.