Apologies if you're not replying to me but if so my thoughts. I strongly urge against benzodiazepines. I think these are zombie drugs and they made me much more suicidal, as I cared about nothing at all when on them. Those are short-term anxiety drugs. I have seen people completely lose their personalities and ambition taking Ativan every day. I think those drugs should be used only in serious acute circumstances, such as if you're suffering from an actual panic attack. SSRIs, meh. Ultimately I don't buy a lot of what the depression industry is selling. I don't think it's healthy to get on these drugs for life for the vast majority of the population. There might be some small percentage of people who actually do have a need for chemistry-altering drugs, but not the 30% of people who say they have depression or anxiety. Way over-diagnosed and over-prescribed. Drinking is not helping you. It is a depressant. It is making you more anxious and depressed in the time following drinking. Weed, in my opinion, also ruins your confidence. I was a stoner from about 18-20 and at various points after that. Again, I don't buy the positive press it gets these days. I don't think it's good for anyone to smoke weed regularly, but we all have vices. Ultimately I preach sobriety and cleaning up your body and mind that way. This is what I think after trying just about whatever I could to help my stuttering and depression. If you drink often, it's no surprise you have depression issues. Fixing one drug problem (drinking) with another (pills) is not a healthy cycle, in my opinion. It's a journey though, and I don't blame you for trying things out. I did. What I eventually settled on is I need to take care of my own house. Outside vices like drugs are not going to fix me. They will just cloud my perception of the root problem and change who I am. If you are feeling very bad, reach out to family and friends and talk to them about it. Know that people support you and love you. It's a personal journey for most of us. Your age is a tough time for a lot of people, myself included. You don't really know your place in the world yet and it's harder to feel grounded. Hang in there and try to make the best life possible you can.