I strongly recommend you see a professional. Seek a psychologist and voice your concerns. A mental health professional can help with the stutter and with the suicidal thoughts. The UK has many suicide hotlines available. [Here is an NHS link with a list.](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/) The first one is the Samaritans hotline. If you are feeling suicidal right now and you feel it's getting close to overcome your will to live, call them now at 116 123. There is help. You can live a good life, stutter or no stutter. **You can find hope.**