I'm 41, also stammered my while life. I did the rounds of speech therapy as a kid and it gave me absolutely nothing. The fact that they discharged you shows how poorly it's treated on the NHS. A few years ago I discovered an approach that's revolutionised my life in many ways. It's based on the work of Joseph Sheehan - try [this]( http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/sheehanmessage.html) for a brief overview of his ethos but it's basically about accepting the fact you stammer, not letting it define you and breaking out of the cage you've built yourself from all the behaviours you've developed over your life. These behaviours are all tied up with the cycles of fear and shame and the billion stupid little tricks that we develop as ridiculous attempts to hide or cheat our stammers. One of my behaviours, for example, was that I'd close my eyes or have very poor eye contact while speaking. The therapist pointed this out to me in my first few minutes of speaking to her and I thought this was really odd - that's part of my stammer, it's what I do. She explained that no, it's a secondary characteristic that I've developed because at some point in my life I've thought that it helped, or something. I can choose to not do it, and doing so will improve my communication immensely. And she was right - who the fuck wants to speak to someone who doesn't make eye contact? It's taken a while to unlearn that behaviour and I still slip sometimes, but it's made a massive difference. Another part is about understanding your stammering and stammering in the way that you want to. Study your speech and all the associated tics, freakeries and strangeness that you do. Do you tap your fingers on your leg to help you get words out? Do you have a verbal tic that you insert between words to try to ease the words into being? Do you block, and make silent gurning faces while the word refuses to come? Don't! Your can choose not to, and you *should* choose not to. People understand a stammer. They know what it is. All these secondary characteristics just make us look strange, and do nothing at all to help. Recognising that these things weren't the stammer was a real 'road to Damascus' moment for me... unlearning them has been more difficult but it can be done with practice and self-awareness. An odd part of the therapy was practicing 'voluntary stammering' - deliberately stammering on words so that you can learn how to overcome blocks etc. Rather than standing with your mouth open, neck muscles straining, fists clenched with no sound coming out as you block on a sound, just say the first part. 'B-b-b-bollocks' is better than looking like Munch's The Scream painting, and you're not removing yourself from the conversation. I've rambled enough, but I'll add another of the important things - set yourself victories, goals. Walk into that shop and ask for your copy of Dwarfbeaters Monthly, and congratulate yourself for doing so. Hold a conversation with your eyes open. Take back control of your life - it can be done. There are people at the centre I go to who've made much better progress than me, but it can be done.