Hey smb, sorry im replying so late. You're smart to notice how these secondary behaviors that we used to try to help get words out actually make out stuttering more miserable. If you want to go back to therapy, you'd need to find an SLP who understands the nature of stuttering behaviors and how to eliminate them (you can definitely get rid of these deeply entrenched behaviors). You do this in a series of steps. The first step is to identify you most distruptive behaviors. This is where a good SLP can be handy because even though we think we're super aware of everything we're doing, they can identify behaviors we don't think are a big deal or even notice. let's take for example, rocking in your chair. You're going to find a low fear-speaking situation and in a brief conversation, you're going to give yourself a goal not to rock in an effort to get words out. That is your goal and it's more important than anything else (hence why you should choose a situation with no consequences like talking to your family/close friend or making a phone call to some random store if you feel up for it). Now you might just substitute rocking with another phyiscal motion so you could just make your goal to not push words out at all, even if it takes a long time. You only do two or three of these goals a day and it's very important that you start small, otherwise you're going to crash and burn and feel like you're failing. As you successfully accomplish the goals, you'll notice the old pattern to push slowly breaking and being replaced by a new ability to withstand the urge to push and be more ok stuttering easier. When you feel confident with you're current ability, you move up to slightly harder situations, but remember to keep things gradual and only a few assignments a day. You can't set a goal every time you talk, you'll burn yourself out and defeat the purpose.