i'm really sorry you're going through this, and i want to address something important first: hitting your head can absolutely affect speech, and the fact that you're also mentioning depression and thoughts about not being alive is serious. Please talk to a doctor or counselor about both the head injury and how you're feeling mentally, because both need professional attention. one thing people don't realize about speech changes is that they can have multiple overlapping causes - stress, depression, possible injury, isolation during covid - and they often need a professional to untangle what's happening. The good news is you don't necessarily need to commute somewhere or wait months on a waitlist to get help. I've heard great things about Better Speech for situations like this. It's virtual speech therapy, so you could work with a licensed therapist from your dorm or home without adding travel stress to an already tough situation. From what I understand, it's also more affordable than traditional per-session costs, which matters when you're in college. They work with adults on all kinds of speech issues, not just childhood stuff. But seriously, start with your campus health center or a doctor about the head injury and mental health stuff. Speech therapy can help with how you sound, but teh other pieces need attention too.