I don't focus on the negatives, or if I do, then it's also the same for you because from your words, it's how we perceive ourselves that's the only or main problem, so you recognize that personal negative while ignoring external negatives. I gave them as examples but they were experiences lived by myself and family members, one got discriminated against for having a stutter then fired, her employer clearly told her that they had been kind to hire her although she had a stutter. If we only listen to the extreme positivists, she would have wondered what had she done wrong herself and how can she control her stutter better while a huge part of life depends on how people perceive and treat us. In my education I've missed opportunities multiple times because people crossed me out as soon as they heard me speak. I was the first in my class but got passed over for a competition, I wasn't even asked if I wanted to participate, I guess they thought having me on stage wouldn't be good for the school's image. Of course, some people are assholes, we would've been treated better in other conditions but these aren't rare occurrences at all, at least not where I live, stuttering is often equated to mental instability. I clearly see the difference between the treatment of light stutterers and severe stutterers every day, I can't help but think that extreme positivists are those that rarely get discriminated against, maybe because they can go covert or because they live in a tolerant environment. Because of the nature of stuttering there's a tendency to try to ignore problems or put more pressure unto oneself to overcome it. But how did our stuttering start? For me it started when I was a kid, I didn't know what stuttering was or what people would think of it but I still stuttered, the trauma only came after bad experiences which made the stuttering worse. So you see, it's a circle and each stage is important, there's a neurological basis, then those already fragile regions are even more impacted by past traumas creating stress and expectations and so it worsens. If we mainly had positive experiences related to our stutter we wouldn't have felt as badly about it. So ultimately, you can try to change yourself but if you aren't supported by your environment, you will always have this shadow over you, because you know how it can be, and this shadow depends hugely (not exclusively I agree, people absolutely can exaggerate) on your lived experiences. In average people, insecurities often come from past mockery, comments and such, yes they can be inflated but they don't just spring out in your mind from nowhere, especially in such a big population. I mean, some people can be especially sensitive to rejection but when a group of millions of people has terrible self perception issues and social anxiety related to this one flaw, you can see the common denominator.