Seems like my story has a lot of similarities to many of yours. I've stuttered since I started speaking and was in speech therapy for 12 years (Grades 1-12). In the 12th grade, my (very low income) grandmother saved enough money to purchase a speech easy device--it works at first and helps for a little while, but I have rarely used it and feel awful that she wasted her money. Unless others pause for a few seconds after you speak, it's almost inevitable that the you'll be unable to hear/understand their first few words. I was always teased. My mother would verbally abuse me for it, as would kids at school. Middle school was the absolute worst--high school was somewhat better. I've always battled severe waves of anxiety and depression, not to mention I'm closeted to my family. I was always pretty good at school. I graduated high school with 4.3; I'm a first generation high school (and college) graduate. I moved on to the University of California, majored in Environmental Science, and graduated in 4 years. My family (aside from my grandmother) has played close to no role in my life. I allow my stuttering to control my life. Speech therapy did little for me, other than make me feel like a "freak", leaving every lunch time, twice a week, for years. After moving across the country for my partner to seek his graduate degree, I find myself unemployed. I'm worried about not finding work, especially one that doesn't require a lot of speaking (on the phone or to large groups). I'm a super social person and I'm not afraid of speaking, but there's some paralyzingly fear I have about being looked down on--pitied, judged, having my intellect questioned--for stuttering.