I have been where you are and I want to tell you that you will get through this. There are great international organizations such as Stamily.org that can be of support for you. You also have us in this reddit community to share your stories of adversity as well as your victories. Just know that you have such strength in you and if you dont see that yet, know that I see it in you. Practice your breathing, practice in front of a mirror, and read out loud to help strengthen your confidence. You are going to block, like we all do, but the key is to breathe and move on.