You're not alone, I've been dealing with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts for years. I almost took my life last year on so many occasions. I can't tell you it'll get better overnight, but I want you to know that you're not crazy. Your feelings are 1000% valid. A lot of us here feel the same way. Just try to hold on, do things that may improve your life in other aspects and try to hold on. I know it's hard.