I want to disappear after what happened to me today

I want to disappear after what happened to me today Hello guys I think we stutters have all the some phobia of being in a very critical situation in which you have to speak to save your life or someone else (accident for exemple). What happened to me today is by far, the worst i've came through. I was with my friend in a bar and it was raining very hard. We waited for it to be more gentle beforce leaving and going home. He suggested to take a short way passing throught construction site. But it was blocked by a river caused by the rain. Few minutes later, a policeman came in our way and asked if he can pass and then, he told us to help to make a bridge with construction stone ( http://slimrock.com/imgs/085/Smokeyblue_4x4.jpg ). I tried to tell them that it is a very bad idea and we don't have the right to use this, but i was like " W .. W ... W ... WAiiit .. G... G..u ". Just after that, 4 mens with baseball bats came to us running and yelling " STOP THERE ! YOU ROBBERS " My friend and the policeman terrified, cross the river and fled and the concierges caught me. Fortunatly, they dont hit me at first and tried to investigate me but i was unable to pronounce a single word ! I tried to write with my gsm but they though i was going to call my mates for help and they took it from my hand. After seeing, i've got huge difficulty to speak, one of them said " Let him go, He is pitiful with his handicap ". And now i am mentaly broken ! What happened just showed me how weak i am and how i can't even deal with any situation :'( PS : Im starting concidering this question ' does my shitty life is worth living ? " Thx for reading and sorry for my english, hope i was clear.