Hey man. Please, please don't think about ending it all. I know it gets rough, incredibly rough. But ending it is no good for you and for your loved ones. I've also been there. I'm a stutterer too, since I was five y/o, and life sometimes has been absolute dogshit. Nowadays, I'm not even close to being fluent. But I've learned to live with the stuttering, and my quality of life is much better. I won't lie to you: you will have to push yourself, and that's not an easy thing. You only have yourself in this (but, if you can get psychological help, it will sure be more endurable and good for you). Now, the thing you have to try is to overcome any fear about stuttering in public or private. Please, don't fold back. Don't hide yourself from people because of your stammering, as many people, including myself, have done for lots of years. Speak. Try to speak as much as you can — if you think about it, you have really nothing to lose by doing this. Not folding back is difficult, but rewarding. So please, try it. And don't give a damn about what people say, because you will be doing a great work that they surely couldn't do. Don't get me wrong, I do not defend that this is the only way. It's in fact quite subjective and dependent on the person. But this worked for me. And it may work for you. A big hug from Spain, mate. I really hope it gets better