commentr/StutterApril 2, 2021

Content

Short answer - No. Don't let someone else tell you what you can and can't do. And don't worry about embarrassing the University. You don't owe the university anything. If you quit because of fear, you will regret it, I promise you that. Let's imagine both scenarios - In scenario A, you continue with the debate team. What's the worst that could happen? Maybe you have a really bad day and stutter a lot in a debate. Maybe you feel exposed and vulnerable and embarrassed. And maybe some asshole even ridicules you. Not a pleasant experience to be sure. In scenario B, you decide to play it safe and quit the debate team. In doing so you avoided a day, or really a moment, of *possible* embarrassment. You have also avoided that feeling of pride and satisfaction that comes from doing the hard thing. You have avoided being ridiculed by the asshole in scenario A. But you haven't avoided being judged by anyone. That's the thing. People are gonna think whatever they wanna think. We judge people every day all the time. Do you think the people who witness you stutter in a debate go home and continue thinking about you? They don't. They think about for a few seconds while you're speaking. They may judge you positively or negatively. And then their attention shifts to something and you're no longer in their mind at all. If they see you again, they may remember you from the debate and they may remember that you stuttered. And then once again their attention shifts to something else and you're no longer part of their thought process. The point I'm trying to make is - we sometimes tend to view our stuttering as us doing something wrong. I mean, why do we feel embarrassed? Does a blind man feel ashamed of being blind? I certainly hope not. Why should he? We didn't choose to stutter. That's just the hand we were dealt. And there is no reason for us to feel bad about who we are. Be unapologetically you and you'll be happier than you'd be trying to mold yourself into somebody else's ideal version of you. Also, the fictional guy in scenario A does exist in the world. And he pops up from time to time without warning. It's important to remember, he's the one who should feel embarrassed. Not you. And if you keep practicing your debate skills, you'll be better equipped to handle him when he does show his ugly face. Finally, I just want to say that you should be proud of yourself for even having the courage join the debate team in the first place. Most people are nervous about public speaking. And most people don't stutter. Much respect to you.

Themes

Coping & AdvocacyEmotional ExperienceIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Self-Advocacy & BoundariesAnxiety & Social JudgmentAcceptance & PrideIdentity & Self-PerceptionHope & Motivation