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frustration possibly the worst part of stuttering for me is not being able to defend myself. so i'm staying at my grandparents over easter, i messaged my sibling group chat on whatsapp saying my granddad was in a bad mood and asked one of my sisters if she was free to call him as she's his favourite. so she says she has some free time and does call the home phone here. he picks up and the first thing she says is (something along the lines of) 'hi how are you? Iman (me) said you're in a bad mood.' he, of course, didn't like this and said 'bad mood? i'm not in a bad mood. why did she say that?' well, i'd said that because he was indeed in a bad mood, he went to go and watch tv upstairs because he didn't want to watch what my aunt and grandmother were watching on tv, (they'd been bickering about it a while beforehand) so anyway, i heard this phone call and started sweating, i was like 'shiiiiit, this is not gonna be good', i couldn't believe my sister told him i'd said that and i started getting really anxious. he confronted me about it asking why i'd said it and i started to say 'i thought you were upset and i thought my sister calling would cheer you up.' but actually i couldn't speak. i don't get moments where i get complete blocks very often but today was one of those days. i was so desperate to try and prove to him that i'd actually attempted to cheer him up; he loves speaking to my sister. but instead all the came out was a jumble of sounds and me nearly in tears. it's awful, it's one of the things i hate most about stuttering. generally i try to stay quite calm about it but when i get emotional i don't have as much control over when i stutter. also when i'm around family it gets even worse. i hate that part of stuttering, the frustration that comes with desperately trying to say what you want to say, failing and then resenting myself afterwards. also, i know this is quite self-pitying and for that i'm sorry. i just needed to get this out. also if anyone else wants to share a story of feeling frustrated, please go ahead!