Indeed yes! My stuttering was severe. >*"I'll definitely look more into the mindfulness approach, thank you."* My strategy of outgrowing stuttering is also based on mindfulness. To explain this clearer, by mindfulness I specifically mean, that I recognize (be aware of) my psychological thought-feeling pattern during the whole speech process. What patterns do you recognize right before and during a speech block? My answer: my own speech pattern that I recognize is, see [checklist](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oVANVMOUxKXWItfdE6ZieXYVaDjN8qy4/view?usp=sharing). I have other patterns than you, since every stutterer responds differently to anticipatory fear. Right before I block, I predict that I will stutter: * Trigger: I have an anticipatory thought: "I will stutter" and I have an anticipatory feeling: "Nervous feeling in my belly" * Reaction: I react to these triggers without confidence like 'I can't say my feared letter, because I don't know how to move my frozen articulators". I then perceive this **anticipation** as: true, a problem, to be fixed and probable. This makes me fearful, panic-y, feeling bothered or pressure. My victim (stutter) mentality that I have developed - blames - this fear/panic to freeze my articulators. In other words, my stutter mentality uses this excuse (of doubt) to freeze my articulators. * Maladaptive interventions: in order to cope with stuttering, try to control my speech or keep the listener's attention: I then tense my speech muscles and parts of my body, I change how and what I want to say, I make my brain unnecessarily active by overthinking, overreacting, following my articulation or scanning for stutters * Decision: Finally, I plan to stop articulators (so, at the end of this stutter cycle I stop choosing to move my articulators) resulting in a speech block You mentioned that your stuttering is also very psychological based because of anxiety. Above is my stutter cycle, what is your stutter cycle right before or during a speech block? At age 14 you were fluent for a year, did you do any interventions or subconscious actions that helped in gaining fluency? >*"Have you already improved your speech with your technique?"* Yes I have absolutely improved my speech with this trial and error strategy (where I subtract control - instead of adding). I learned the following: * 24/7 the whole day - even when I'm not speaking - I observe my mind. Even when I'm not speaking, I constantly notice triggers (from anticipatory fear). By always expecting these triggers and observing them without reacting to them and without doing the compulsion of freezing my articulators, I learned: 1. to build tolerance against them 2. to detach importance by learning that these triggers are less: probable, fearful, true, my true intentions, a problem or to be avoided. 3. to disconfirm expectancy * I learned that I don't need to change my voice, speak in a robotic way or act as someone else, because I can already speak natural * I learned that I don't need to push, force or use effort to speak * I learned that giving too much energy/focus, doesn't lead to **more** fluency * I learned that I don't need to wait out speaking, wait out triggers, wait out scanning or wait out excuses in order to speak. I learned that **not** directly speaking (whereby I'm holding back), produces speech blocks * I learned that adding interventions (like slowing down, needing to breathe in first or reducing anticipatory fear) is not needed and will only make my anticipatory fear more real in my mind. By reacting to anticipatory fear e.g., desensitizing it, I tell my instinct that anticipation is something to be feared, a problem and to be fixed, which makes the anticipatory fear worse, the next time I speak. According to [PhD researchers](https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/the-inhibitory-learning-approach-to-exposure-and-response-prevention/) it's ineffective to reduce anxiety. * I learned that reducing anxiety (desensitizing), results in **not** choosing to move articulators (causing a speech block) * I learned to tackle my stutter cycle from all angles (as oppose to only one) * I learned to interrupt, delay and limit my compulsion of freezing articulators * I learned to **choose** for a fluency mental state (where I breathe out calmly, move articulators and speak naturally). I learned that **choosing** is not fearful or to be avoided. * Often stutterers get triggered if they have the desire to speak fluently. However, this is a problem, because non-stutterers also have the intention (say: choose) to move articulators during speech because 'intention' is a fluency law. Without intention to move articulators it's not possible to speak. So, I learned that 'choosing to move articulators' is not a problem or to be avoided, more probable and less fearful. * I learned that **not** reacting or **not** doing interventions/secondaries - is not a problem * I learned that monitoring triggers, reacting to triggers and doing interventions, don't reduce doubt, in fact, they always increase doubt. I learned that the more I monitor, react or do interventions - the more I reinforce reassurance-seeking and making the triggers more real in my mind 'as if I need to monitor, react or do interventions'. I learned that the negative result of monitoring, reacting and applying interventions in the anticipation of a stutter, is, that the next time I experience a trigger, I will increase more fear, doubt and effort * I learned to not tense speech muscles, not have an overactive brain, not coping, overthinking, overreacting and not having strong emotions towards triggers * I learned to reduce 'blaming triggers' (like anticipation, panic, stutter pressure, time pressure, a stutter experience, auditory feedback, feared letters and feared situations) that would usually lead to freezing articulators * I learned that I can still choose (WITHOUT A REASON) to move my articulators WITH panic (basically learning to not blame reasons like panic to move articulators, because non-stutterers also choose to move articulators WITH panic) * I learned to distance myself from perceiving triggers * I learned to weaken the association between expected negative outcome and 'intention to move my articulators' * I learned that I have more control over micro-decisions in my speech process, including: I learned that I can choose to **not** plan ahead (and **not** visualize) to freeze my articulators * I learned that anticipatory fear doesn't mean anything, because instinctive triggers don't have a goal or meaning so there is no point in using 'being convinced' as a reason to stop my articulators. Positive effect: even if I'm convinced, feel panic, etc etc, I still choose to move my articulators regardless- without a reason (because it's supposed to be instinctive) * I learned that anticipatory fear is pointless, because **I will not move articulators**, rather my instinct will move my articulators - I will only focus on **choosing** (in order to fire one neuron in the motor cortex to move articulator muscles) * I learned that having anticipatory fear or stutter pressure, doesn't make me a stutterer \[perceiving myself in the best way possible\] \[changing dysfunctional belief system\] \[stopping with labeling\] * I learned to lose interest in 1. reacting to anticipatory fear 2. perceiving anticipatory fear 3. associating myself with anticipatory fear 4. and negatively evaluating listener's responses. Instead, I learned to be curious and open towards discomfort of raw experiences * I learned to gain interest in choosing * I learned that anticipatory fear doesn't cause stopping my articulators, rather **not** choosing to move articulators causes stopping my articulators * I learned to separate choosing, anticipation and panic * I learned that focusing on non-intention, doesn't lead to more fluency * I learned that I can still choose a fluency mental state (say: choose to move articulators), even with: panic, **anticipation**, blaming **anticipation**, perceiving, associating, being convinced of and reacting to **anticipation**. I learned that all these excuses will only increase doubt, effort and fear, whereas **choosing** will always reduce it. I learned to be less dependent on these excuses. * I learned to trust and have confidence in **choosing** * I learned to imitate non-stutterers regarding: **choosing** to breathe out calmly and move articulators * I learned to not label **choosing** as luck and I learned to not reject **learning** from it * This big list has many improvement tips, however, although it's true that I make a lot of these mistakes - I learned to stop telling myself that this is a mistake, because that will only keep me in the stutter cycle as well as stop 'needing' above tips - because reassurance-seeking will only keep me in the stutter cycle