It’s really bad. I find myself having bursts of anger and then half regretting it after I get into the altercation and can’t really get out. Most people disengage because of how unintimidating I am (I’m 5’ 4” and 115lbs). I’ve also quit smoking weed, that hasn’t helped. My depression is really bad and it’s bubbling up as anger, because when you’re a man you can’t be vulnerable, people don’t respond to that positively, people are forced to respond to anger in a way. But when I’m in a rage I’m fluent and it makes me feel good to finally say what I’ve been wanting to say but haven’t been saying because I haven’t wanted to make people uncomfortable or start trouble. In some cases it’s family stuff that I’ve been holding in for years. But it doesn’t seem to matter how angry I get, nobody really cares anyway. I’m a few steps away from killing myself at this point in my life. I’ve recently graduated with my bachelor’s and I need to pay off my student loans, car loan, and find a way to move out of my parents’ house, which I’ve never been out of because I was a commuter student. I don’t really have friends anymore, and the few friends I thought I had were really just smoking buddies that didn’t give a fuck about me. If I didn’t stutter I’d enjoy life much more, I’m certain of that. Speech therapy is too expensive, and there’s no way to cure stuttering so why even bother? I understand there may be certain methods to stutter easier or whatever but I’m more concerned with providing for myself and not being a child anymore. I’m sorry for giving you like... my life story. I’m a fuckin mess rn and I don’t really have anybody other than my therapist but it’s not the same having someone who genuinely gives a shit and likes me for me.