OP, this is exactly what the purpose of this subreddit is for; People Who Stutter. I can promise you I have had virtually the same exact experience on what you went through. Silent blocking in my opinion is the worst type of block a stutter can experience. The person you’re having that conversation with is looking at you weirdly and wondering what is going on with you. I been asked are you having a stroke? At that time I wish I were having a stroke at that time. Wish I was having a the stroke at that time. Because then it would be a way to get me out immediately from speaking to that individual and also hoping that the stroke was strong enough to render me a mute and I would be unable to ever speak again. Still hoping. OP. Stuttering has destroyed my life. But I am getting psychological therapy to help me cope as a person who stutters. OP, if you reside here in the United States and need to speak to someone please get in contact with The United States National Suicide Hotline. You can call, or text the number 988. 24 hours / 7 days a week / 365 days a year to speak to someone. There website is: https://988lifeline.org. On the website up at the top the is a link to speak to someone via online chat. I myself have used 988 on multiple occasions. OP, please feel free to come back to this Stuttering Subreddit group to vent your frustrations. Because of my stammer OP, I have over my 47 years have attempted suicide several times. OP, I would like you to reach out to The National Stuttering Association (NSA). The NSA is the world’s largest organisation for people who stutter. Their website is, https://www.westutter.org. When you are on the NSA’s home page about half way down OP you will see a link called “Find your Local Chapter”. Click on that link to see if there is a NSA Chapter support group near where you live. It is free to attend the chapter meeting support group. There is a lot of great information on the NSA’s website. If you are still either not sure by what your seeing on the website, the please give The NSA’s awesome, wonderful, and caring National Director, Ms Tammy Flores a ring. The NSA’s telephone number is: +1 800 WE STUTTER. The office is located in Brooklyn, New York.The office hours are Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm east coast time.