It’s really about not giving a flying fuck

It’s really about not giving a flying fuck 22M here from Asia, been though schooling, Military and currently in university. I believe due to some personal reasons and the way I was raised, I’ve had social anxiety since I gained consciousness. This morphed into a very mild stutter when I started speaking and became so much worse throughout the years. Thankfully, it’s not super duper severe. I’d rate myself a moderate stutterer now. I have suffered all the things u guys mention here- “forgetting my name”, severe heart palpitations, breathlessness, rumination and what ever all. It got really bad when I was in the Army and oh my god. When I came to university, every semester I have presentations and in my second semester my stress from stutter morphed into GAD and I experienced a severe panic attack. It changed my life but I feel it really numbed me into not giving a single fuck. Coincidentally, that period I met a mutual friend whom I would rate to being a moderate-severe stutter but he doesn’t stammer(freeze, whereas I freeze a lot lol). Nevertheless, he really doesn’t give a fuck and it shows. I even asked him how does he do it, he said he accepted since young that that’s who he is and since then has never let that deter him. He doesn’t ruminate or even over think about how others perceive him. For me, I let this be my personality trait and ruined my whole life. This panic attack motivated me to sign up for an extra curricular activity which required me to present and I did last Friday. It was surreal, the me before panic attack would’ve never dared. I hope this can motivate some of us at least to go out and interact more. We need to show the world that we are here. Fuck all the normal neurotypical and fluent speakers.