So many of us feel or have felt the same as you. This is why I have always called stuttering a curse. I have lived with this curse most of my life until recently. I have been researching how my brain learns for over 25 years to find an answer to my significant learning disability. Eventually I found the answer. In trying to solve one problem I discovered that I have a stuttering brain which is wired differently than a fluent brain. I discovered that fluent speakers have voluntary control of their Valsalva response which enables them to breathe appropriately for speech. When I was able to find the key on how to access voluntary control I began to train my brain as to the meaning of fluent speech. Presently I am basically stutter free. I finally rid myself of this awful curse. There are many roads leading to fluency. You need to find the road that works for you. Best luck on your journey to fluency.