I feel everything you just said PERFECTLY. I couldn’t have described it better. Just one thing: you have to talk more openly about your stutter and risk the harmless jokes. I mean it. It is a vicious cycle if you don’t. I feel like most people laugh at stuttering because they don’t know that you are stuttering in that moment. No one expects it somehow. If you explain it, most people react with empathy and it helps you to gain confidence. No matter how you proceed, this is a step you will have to take. You can become a confident stutterer and gaining confidence will also help with ultimately lessen the severity. The fear is the worst part of it.