It is not ridiculous though. Dealing with a stutter is not easy. I have stuttered my whole life so I understand what you are going through. When I was young, I was petrified of speaking anywhere. I knew people would make fun of me regardless of who they were. That fear gripped me so much that I found it quite suffocating, just like how you are feeling at the moment. The biggest change came for me when I started my job. It kinda forces me to talk. I still hide behind my colleagues when it comes to phone calls or any physical meetings. But I have noticed, through sheer exposure to people as part of my job, that truly people do not give a shit about how you speak. They don't. They may look at you funny for the first time but after that it just escapes them. They don't even consider your speech at all. Ditto for other places like restaurants or petrol station. Everyone has their own shit to deal with for them to stop and laugh at you. You need to stop being scared and understand nobody gives a fuck about how you speak. At least not the majority. I can speak freely on many occasions now. Sometimes I have to, sometimes I don't give a fuck what others think, sometimes I have to get the job done and there is no other option. Try not being too hard on yourself. It isn't as scary as it looks. It's only a little scary.