I know just what you are going through. I felt the same way you are feeling now. This is why I have tried for years to get rid of this curse we call stuttering. I used the theories written by Martin Schwartz and William Parry to develop a program catered to my own needs. I was finally able to rid myself of stuttering around 90-95% of the time. I just wanted to let you know that there may be a light at the end of your tunnel.