Thanks for your answer. My head has this way about it that I always seem to think back on bad times with my speech. Especially whenever things get good. My mind was half in that mindset today. I basically just said to myself "Fuck it, I'll try it and see". This I did, but I don't feel good about doing it. Truthfully, there's more aspects about this I haven't explained, as they are somewhat personal. I've attempted the same theory before, on a previous work experience, but honestly for whatever reason I felt awful about it afterwards. My mind doesn't want to think about the good things, subconsciously. I automatically take the bad out of it. I honestly wanted to have a better grip on my mind before I did something like this again. But I guess life likes to play ball.