You are normal. You are *choosing* to be miserable by running away from your stutter and accepting yourself. You are *choosing* to think others are judging you. You are *choosing* to create what if fairytales instead of living in and enjoying the moment. You are bullying yourself. Stop doing that. Choose the opposite of what you are doing now. Stop blaming stuttering for your low self-esteem and start doing something about raising your self-esteem. There are thousands of books and videos on how to raise your self worth and self esteem. Pick one and start following the advice.