Hi. I have not dealt with a similar situation myself, neither with alcohol nor stuttering. But I'm going to answer you anyway. (I do not have a stutter, as I said, but I know an odd amount for a lay person due to several life circumstances.) I want to say first that I'm really glad you posted. It almost brought tears to my eyes....I'd have to tell you my life story to explain why I can very much relate to turning to alcohol or another drug as a way around stuttering, a way that eventually becomes a problem in itself, arguably a worse problem than the one you were trying to solve. I've never been addicted to anything, but that's a kind of accident (blessing?) of nature, my chemistry....I just do terribly with drugs of almost any kind. But I'm trying to say that I've lived with something that *would* have pushed me to similar means if I were physiologically different. So.....it's pretty clear that you need to stop drinking. You wouldn't be posting here if you didn't already know that. It's hard to tell from what you write if it's necessary to go thru a medical detox, in a facility where you are monitored for the most severe symptoms of withdrawal and given mediation to mitigate withdrawal. Many people are able to detox at home, though it's not wise to do it alone, as you could develop very serious symptoms necessitating a call for emergency. Detox will take a week or more, with, I think, the worst symptoms being 1 to 3 days in. And odd effects can linger for longer. It depends so much on so many factors, and I'm no expert. But you can read about that. (Or not, ha.) Then what? Well....either you're at an inpatient facility where there is a rehab program that you stay at for hopefully 90 days (WAY more effective than 30 day programs), or you try to do it more independently in either an outpatient program or meetings every day for....a long time. I don't know where you live or what your healthcare situation is like, and I don't have a lot of knowledge about the practicalities of this. I just know that if you are not hardcore for a good long while in the beginning, you have less chance of succeeding at what is already an extremely difficult thing. I'm in the US. If a friend of mine could not afford to do this thru a program, I'd tell him to go to AA every day for at least 90 days straight. Believe me, they will not care that you stutter. People in AA have seen everything, and it would be beyond unacceptable to make you feel any different from the rest of them because you have a stutter. I know you don't believe that now, but....well, there's no real way around this -- talking in front of other people -- unless you're going to go it alone which will cut your chances of successful recovery way down and is a particularly bad idea in your case as your other default is extreme isolation. As horrifying as it seems now, you NEED people around you, others who are going thru similar and have been thru similar. (You may also find that this kind of daily group situation w/others suffering in relateable ways will be the beginning of you being able to speak in front of others despite stuttering. In fact, there's high chance of that as insane as it must sound to you right now. It's a kind of exposure therapy in itself, but with a friendly audience.) Figuring you've been drinking like this for a long time, even though it's all bound up with stuttering and all the anxiety that comes from that, for the moment, you have to partially separate things. Like, you gotta stop drinking first, try to exist as someone who doesn't drink for a minute before you get to how do you live as someone with a stutter. It's clear from your post that you believe it's either or: Either you're a black out drunk who's on the brink of dying/killing or injuring another person/committing a crime, OR you're an isolated exiled stutterer living in his head talking to no one -- another kind of slow and excruciating death. Well, OP, if those are the only options, then why go on? This is a leap of faith. Some bitty bit of you must believe that there must be another way. I'm not saying "you must believe this!" No....I'm saying that I think some part of you, perhaps not fully consciously, already knows that there must be another way. Others who answer you here will tell you how they went from their lowest points (they won't be the same as yours, but they are very bad too, to the point of wishing to die), and I hope that helps some. But, you gotta get sober before you can find a path toward living with a stutter without being in soul-crushing isolation. **There is a path for you. And I believe you will find it.** I am not just saying this. I feel it from your post. You have not given up (you can always tell on here when someone has already given up; despite how dark things are for you right now, you have not give up); you wrote this here today for a reason. This is already long. If you'd like to PM me, I would not mind at all. Either way, you're in my thoughts and I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart. Edits: Typos and I added that parenthetical thing about AA being friendly exposure therapy.