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How do I even live life? Hello, first time poster. I have stuttered since I was in the 3rd grade, now 21 and in community college. I take all my classes online and rarely leave the house. My mom argues with me almost everyday to go out and get a job, but I am too afraid. How in the world am I supposed to do this when I am too afraid to order food at a drive thru. I always see people say "stop caring what other people think"...that may work for some people, not me. I give a shit what people think of me. My stutter is horrendous. Only been getting worse as the years go on. When I get stuck in a block, my head tilts back, my eyes roll back in my head and I almost start convulsing..it kind of looks like I am having a seizure. I have been tested for tourettes and a bunch of other similar stuff, but i dont have anything. I was in speech therapy from 3rd to 12th grade, it did absolutely nothing for me. I have friends that I talk to online and play video games with, but I rarely go out and hangout with them..i just stay in a controlled enviornment. I have never had a girlfriend, been on a date, actually never even really talked to a girl. I used to have suicidal thoughts when I was in high school mainly because of my stuttering. The years have gone on and things have gotten worse, at least I dont get picked on anymore because of it...those thoughts have thankfully stopped. I just dont know what I am doing anymore. How in the hell is a stutterer like me supposed to do anything. I became so desperate that I filed for disability...unfortunately stuttering is supposedly not counted. idk..this is just a rant, or you can give me advice on how to break from this rut I guess