If your speech is causing you that much anxiety and depression, why don’t you speak to your doctor about getting you onto anti-anxiety medication to help you at least address the anxiety around your stutter? That’s the first step. Next is to get into a fluency shaping program that teaches you how to speak more fluently. Next is to practice, practice, practice! Read aloud to yourself every day. Use your techniques to talk in real life situations too. I know how frustrating it all is, but the only way to get out of this state is to do something about it before your depression gets even more severe!