Does anyone here ever avoid their friends and then feel bad about it?

Does anyone here ever avoid their friends and then feel bad about it? I'm a 17 old almost 18 (M) who has recently started having speech therapy and I'm feeling better about my speech however 2 main things still annoy me and get me down 1. The pressure to get a summer job and 2. having to make up excuses to avoid going out with friends. Number 2 makes me feel especially bad because my mates genuinely seem to value me as a friend but sometimes I can't bring myself to to go out with them due to having bad days with speech. This has lead to questions like what do you do all day? And Do you despawn? Which on the one hand is understandable but on the other utterly frustrating. Anyone have similar experiences?