I had some years where I basically didn't stutter that much. Those years were the best times of my life. I answered phones without hesitation, participated in events where I didn't know a single person, and even did some presentations so well that I still can't believe that was me. Right now, every one of those things feels like an unachievable dream. Now all it takes to ruin my day is one small phone call or the thought of speaking to others.