sometimes i just wanna be deaf whenever i’m talking…

sometimes i just wanna be deaf whenever i’m talking… because whenever i have my airpods on with noise cancellation, i know that i can’t hear other people or any type of noise that clearly, so i don’t get hesitant to talk and don’t stutter that much ??? When I can hear really clearly, it just makes me stutter more for some reason + getting anxious of if i’m going to get stuck at a word or stutter… Also, i’m in nursing school right now 😭😭😭 lot of words that i get stuck on. fml